Something I generally try to avoid is hypocrisy: claiming beliefs to which one's actual behavior does not comply. However, I have recently noticed a few instances of hypocrisy in my behavior regarding my daughter's reading.
- Once my daughter was in first grade, and I was the one driving her around to her various after-school activities, I banned her from using her tablet in the car for any drives of less than 30 minutes. What I told her (and this was true) was that driving around while she sat in the back absorbed by her device made me feel like an unpaid chauffeur. I told her that I didn't like it, and was going to keep it from happening. Hence the 30 minute rule. Fast forward to second grade. My minivan looks like a lending library, with books all over the back section. Pretty much the minute my daughter gets in the car, she is absorbed into one of these books, not talking to me or responding to anything that I say. (See previous post: I'm in my book now.") And although I once again do feel a bit like a chauffeur, I feel happy that she is reading, instead of feeling irritated. Fortunately she has not noticed this inconsistency on my part (that it is ok for her to be immersed in a book, but not ok for her to be immersed in a device).
- The other day my daughter asked for a new set of Legos (not a kit, just more pieces for free construction). I told her that she would have to either save up her allowance or add that to her Christmas list. Even though I do support her use of Legos in general, I am trying to teach her the value of money and that she can't have everything she wants. But when it's a book that she asks for, well, let's just say that I am a MUCH softer touch. I did still draw the line when she asked for the entire series of both old Babysitters' Club and Rainbow Magic. But the new Babysitter's Club Graphic Novel? The personal copies of the two additional books by Raina Telgemeier that she HAD to have? Well, don't be surprised if you see those on her reading list.
- Then there's bedtime. As the person who is responsible for getting her up every morning, I am also the person who badgers her to go to bed at a reasonable hour every night. I take a hard line right up until she is in bed, with teeth brushed and jammies on. But then, when she begs to read for a few minutes, because it will help her to fall asleep...? Well, I guess I can struggle with getting her out of bed for one more day.
Of course all of these behaviors do comply with my core belief that kids should grow up with the chance to love reading. I suppose this is true whenever you see anyone engaging in hypocrisy. They claim some secondary beliefs, and probably stick by them some of the time. But when those secondary beliefs run up against a primary internal conviction (whether it is acknowledged or not), actual behavior deflects to support the higher (sometimes unstated) goal. And so, I will own and accept these particular hypocrisies regarding my daughter's reading. Because the real goal is for her to enjoy reading. We'll work the rest of it out as best we can.